Wet Clothes

I’m back under my tree this morning. I wasn’t planning on it but here I am. Walking here is the first thing I’ve done today. Much needed. It’s interesting that I feel far from the Lord because i haven’t participated in any obvious sin. Still I haven’t felt the communion i had with Him a couple of months ago. My situation back then was one of utter dependence upon Him. Looking for comfort aside from Him would have been obviously foolish. I had been in a season of somewhat expected adversity, and by His grace I was building fortitude while keeping my eyes on Him and receiving His provision. My circumstances changed with unexpected adversity and over the last couple of months I’ve been reminded of my lack of trust and the vanity of worry. 

A friend said it was like I had been walking on water for months. I was just reflecting on that…

To have said I was ready and then to have received the call, to have thrown myself outside of the ship of comfort or self preservation and to have floated at head height above my adversity was an incredible feeling. But, like Peter I had taken my eyes off of Jesus and looked to the storm instead and I quickly began to sink. Gosh that sucks. I’d never really thought of Peter’s emotions at that time but I imagine it was a complex mixture of feelings. On one hand a miracle had just been performed through him. On the other his lack of faith was exposed. Ultimately Christ saves us all from ourselves when we call out to Him, ever humbling us with his constant rescue. What a blessing. 

My unrecognized sin has been trying to seize control—firstly over the unexpected adversity (of which I’ve already repented) but secondly, and less obvious, has been my preoccupation with my wet clothes. 

I must not miss the moment. His grace is sufficient. It is His love of us that reminds us of our shortcomings, but only to highlight His strength and perfection. Only through Him all things are possible. To think otherwise only proves foolishness. I rejoice not in my wet clothes but the fact that I experienced His grace and mercy in a greater way than I would have had I never left the boat. I will rest in this. My eyes on Him again.

“Peter said to Him, “Lord, if it is You, command me to come to You on the water.” And He said, “Come!” And Peter got out of the boat, and walked on the water and came toward Jesus. But seeing the wind, he became frightened, and beginning to sink, he cried out, “Lord, save me!” Immediately Jesus stretched out His hand and took hold of him, and *said to him, “You of little faith, why did you doubt?””

Matthew 14:28-31 NASB1995