March 8th, Friendship, Loss, Brothers (old entry)

March 8th

When I was writing about friendship last night my original best friend came to mind. He died tragically almost 5 years ago. I hadn’t realized till this morning that today is his birthday. He would have been 26 today. 

After he died I thought about him everyday for probably the first 2 or 3 years. He’d show up in dreams often too. Sometimes the dreams brought back warm memories—I wouldn’t want them to end. Other times they were nightmares though it’s been a while since I’ve been afraid in a dream. His death was definitely one of the most scarring parts of my life. I’m not sure I’ve really processed it fully yet. 

One of my favorite movies is Inception. In it the main character, a widower, has a breakthrough moment when he realizes that all the memories he has of his dead wife are just that. He can try and trap her in his mind, projecting her via fragments of her that he remembers, but ultimately what he is trying so hard to keep alive is just a shade of who his wife really was. 

I’m still alive and the older I get, the less Hunter and I have in common. What’s cool tho is that as I get older, the more his brother and I have in common. He’s becoming a good friend. That’s really beautiful.